Sigh

I had another uneventful day; I accomplished very little during the morning and afternoon. I'm hoping to make up for it tonight.

I brooded a little this afternoon, mostly about past problems and how they continue to be manifested in my present-day behavior. I wanted to write about it, but I just couldn't, even if I restricted my entry. Even though it wasn't anything tragic, I just couldn't bring myself to write about my feelings and problems. I don't know whether it's an unconscious fear of rejection or an ingrained sense that some things should be kept bottled up, but writing down the intrinsic flaws in my character would just make me feel too vulnerable. This upset me a little bit; I know that everybody has their secrets, but I think I tend to be a bit extreme, even to the point that it's unhealthy. Self-restraint can be a good, and even necessary thing, but it's almost making me feel trapped right now. If I can't be candid about my faults to anyone, even myself, how am I supposed to confront them and become a better person?

Hopefully I'll be able to sort things out sooner or later.